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She is clearly doing this to please me and show a submissive spirit. I often rub it in by saying something like "Thank you, little wife" in a patronising tone. It is a little ritual exchange.<br /><br />I could pour my own tea, but it is a way for her to show a spirit of service. For a moment, it is like she is my personal Geisha.<br /><br />Little feminine submissive rituals like this, particular to the couple, are probably fairly common. Sometimes she will present herself to me for inspection of how she looks in an outfit. I often make a point of making her twirl around so I can appraise her.<br /><br />DavidAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440192082393796739.post-19802602457973030142010-04-09T21:57:02.766-07:002010-04-09T21:57:02.766-07:00I am good at minding children. My wife says it is ...I am good at minding children. My wife says it is because it involves little physical effort. But I am also naturally fairly patient. And I like children.<br /><br />Yes, my wife and I both seeing it as my "helping". And I always feel happiest doing this when I have not been nagged, but have chosen to do it out of husbandly kindness (or what a feminist would call "condescension").<br /><br />Rituals are a funny thing. I suppose one uses the male dominant rituals appropriate to one's culture. Most cultures have them. Western culture is unique in that it includes some that purport to show deference for womanhood. It would be funny if they all disappeared, and we were left only with the male dominant ones. That would serve the feminists right. Already, I feel no compunction about not giving up my seat to a woman on the bus. Maybe a pregnant woman. But only maybe.<br /><br />My wife once said that she should have been "yellow" (Asian), referring to the deferential female behaviour of such cultures.<br /><br />I suspect that the rituals may be more important when the actual role division is less clear. As I said, my wife's desire for a spanking seems to have gone into abeyance now that I am more consistently dominant in real life. And that thing we did with her curtseying to me, early in our courtship, did not last.<br /><br />I would have no moral problem with other dominance rituals, if they were appropriate to my culture. In some traditional European cultures, the wife does not eat her meal until after her husband has finished his. There is a nice scene of what I assume is traditional wifely dinnertime behaviour in The Godfather Pt II. The wife does not appear to join her husband and friend, but just cooks and serves the pasta. But these behaviours are foreign to me.<br /><br />I have had my wife prepare a simple breakfast, leave it on the table for me, and return to bed on a number of occasions. She often does this when she is on leave and I am still going to work. I always feel pleasantly patriarchal on such occasions. This is largely ritual and symbolic, because she really only prepares toast or cereal and tea, and I could easily do this myself.<br /><br />DavidAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440192082393796739.post-81328396698715537362010-04-09T20:32:24.981-07:002010-04-09T20:32:24.981-07:00Of course, charity is always called for. My husban...Of course, charity is always called for. My husband sometimes watches the children so that I can do something on my own (like get my hair cut, take a shower, or go to the library). Recently, I was in bed with a terrible cold. He occupied the children for me all day, brought me tea, cooked dinner, etc.<br /><br />But that's not the same thing as making it the norm. It's more like he's helping me to complete my tasks, rather than the tasks being reassigned to him.<br /><br />Sometimes I think the rituals are almost <em>more</em> important than the split in roles. Even when my mother worked full time and my father was retired (he later went back to work), she still maintained the little rituals.Altehttp://butterflysquash.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440192082393796739.post-40654269338599104822010-04-09T10:54:04.782-07:002010-04-09T10:54:04.782-07:00We don't go out often, but my wife seems happy...We don't go out often, but my wife seems happy enough for me to order for her in restaurants, but I don't make a big deal of it. I explained the custom to her once. She hadn't really heard of it.<br /><br />One of the warning signs about that young couple, of which I had sex with the wife, was that she used to drive the family car with him beside her. It really was strange. Maybe this happens in America, but it is almost unheard of in Australia. Even the wimpiest hubby drives the family car here.<br /><br />Symbolism can be empty though, unless there is some reality behind it. I mean, I do some work around the house, but my wife is the housewife, the household manager. I always think: a woman can fake up a few symbolic moments to keep the old man happy, but if she is actually doing all the laundry, that is real commitment.<br /><br />My first fiancee, an Anglican girl, had some traditional instincts. She totally disapproved of women priests, who were starting to be ordained in her church. She also quite liked some traditional aspects of femininity. But fundamentally, there was no way she was going to be a compliant wife. She irritated me profoundly by suggesting we use the ancient Anglican Book of Common Prayer marriage rite (she had manoeuvred me into getting married in her church), but she wanted to make one change to the words. Guess which. Leave out "obey". I didn't particularly mind using a modern liturgy, but to suggest using a traditional one, cutely emasculated, I found really annoying. <br /><br />As I have mentioned, I may retire in a few years time and my wife could become the main breadwinner. I can imagine doing some of the cooking, if I was at home, semi-retired. But I would still expect my wife to actually serve the meal. As I have said to my wife, I may retire, but I will not be putting on a dress!<br /><br />This is all very instinctive for me. I remember my mother, probably trying to make a point I suppose, asking me to serve tea to some ladies visiting our family home when I was a teenager. I recall being very resistant. I think I more or less refused. I didn't want to wait on women.<br /><br />It is important nonetheless for a man not to fall into being simply uncharitable. I have done a fair amount of menial work looking after our children - changed nappies, childminding, tying their little shoelaces. I bring my wife the occasional cup of tea in bed.<br /><br />Feminists do indeed understand symbolism well, and set out deliberately to subvert it. There have been cases of feminists making boys wait on them at table, or dance for them. Clearly, they are gloating. A lot of this stuff is designed to demoralise and humiliate men. As Lawrence Auster pointed out, cases like the appointment of a pregnant woman as Defence Minister in Spain are clearly designed to emasculate the army. And that woman police commissioner, whose incompetence is now being disclosed in a public inquiry, was clearly appointed by a left wing government to make a point.<br /><br />I knew a young woman in college who made a point of bringing a woman friend to my rooms, so as to try to force me to make them both a cup of tea. It was rather petty and silly of this girl. I think she may have been my girlfriend at the time. I remember being astonished that she could go to so much trouble to make such a silly point. I think I made them the tea. We were all just students together after all.<br /><br />DavidAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440192082393796739.post-50508480469769510072010-04-09T08:46:29.677-07:002010-04-09T08:46:29.677-07:00Symbolism is very, very important. That's why ...Symbolism is very, very important. That's why feminists tried to break with tradition whenever they can.Altehttp://butterflysquash.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com