Monday, March 15, 2010

Game Is Universally Useful

While the primary purpose of learning Game is to increase one's skills at attracting desirable romantic partners, the benefits of Game certainly don't stop there. Game is an extremely broad body of knowledge that entails nearly every single aspect of social dynamics and practical psychology. In my own experience, I have found that the increased social skills acquired from learning Game have improved nearly all of my personal interactions. Several other bloggers have noted similar things.

The increased social awareness that comes from learning about social and relational dynamics enhances one's ability to read individuals and figure out how a group is socially structured. While in prior years, I never would have even considered the idea of social hierarchies, now I can easily determine who are the leaders and who are the followers in any group. I can quickly determine how each person perceives themselves in relation to the group, and how much influence they have over the others in the group. Being able to quickly and easily read groups is extremely helpful in determining how to interact with the group as a whole and with individual people. Understanding the various relationships within a group enables one to more easily make friends and gain group acceptance. Even beyond that, understanding group dynamics enables one to become highly respected as a leader in the group. Although, the benefits of understanding group dynamics hardly stop there. Chuck Ross has written an interesting blog on how his understanding of group dynamics directly impacts his job as a server.

Personal relationships are also enhanced by one's increased ability to read body language, tonal cues, unspoken messages, verbal subtexts and other non-verbal components of communication. This makes it much easier to entertain, fascinate, engage, attract or comfort people you relate to. The increased ability to read individuals is one of the benefits of learning Game that I have most enjoyed. Learning how much people enjoy teasing and verbal banter has made me a much more playful person. Last week I took my little sister to dinner for her 15th birthday. While we did have serious conversations about a broad array of topics, she definitely had a lot of fun trying to keep up with my constant teasing. I teased her so much, and reframed so many of her self-aggrandizing comments that eventually she said, "You're mean!" I quickly replied, "You wouldn't be enjoying yourself so completely if I weren't." With a smile on her face she said, "I know." Even a year ago, I would have interpretted the, "You're mean!" comment as one that meant that I had overstepped the line and begun to offend. Now, given my ability to better read people and know how they're feeling, I knew that she found my constant teasing extremely fun and engaging. This is just one example of many I could give on how being able to read people better enhances all of my personal relationships with my friends, with my family, and at work.

Assertiveness is another valuable trait that is much developed by learning Game. As a person learns to take their own desires seriously and act in a way that commands respect from others, conflict and arguments are more quickly dealt with or defused and overall life satisfaction rises. Rather than fearing the emotional state of others, an assertive person does what is reasonable, expects other people to be reasonable and refuses to shy away from a direct and unapologetic dealing with situations that arise. This has benefitted me a lot as I have learned to be unafraid to state my opinions, desires, and make bold requests whenever I want to. My assertiveness even helps lead others to be more assertive in their interactions. When I had dinner with my little sister last week, she ordered a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich. Upon eating the first couple of bites she remarked, "This sandwich is pretty crappy. I expected it to be better." I told her, "This is a nice restaurant. If the sandwich doesn't meet your standards then send it back and have them get you something else." A couple minutes later the waiter came by and she did exactly that, ordering a salad instead. She then told me, "I've never sent anything back at a restaurant before." Acting assertively and expecting other people to be reasonable inspires others to be more assertive. Last week, I read an excellent blog by Krauser on five ways he practices being more assertive in his interactions.

Another side effect of the pursuit of developing the masculine virtues advocated by Game is the way I view my relationship to the world and to others. In the past, I've always seen myself as being superior to or lesser than other people. Rather than being a consciously developed view, it was always subconsciously lurking beneath the surface. In learning what true confidence looks like, I have found that real confidence is always accompanied by an attitude of humility. In practicing confidence by "faking it until you make it," I learned that confidence is an attitude that is partially born out of realistic self-assessment, and partially born out of a realistic assessment of the world and its various challenges. I discovered that confidence rests in knowing oneself, continually developing one's character, and a deep contentment with who one is. As an unexpected side effect, I have gained a greater appreciation for various sorts of people and the different strengths they manifest. One who is truly confident recognizes the things that make him similar to others and also the things that set him apart. He eventually comes to see himself as quite ordinary and yet quite unique and special. Every man is my peer, whether he has numerous educational credientals, whether he is the President of a Fortune 500 company, or whether he is simply a janitor. Since I am an adult, even my parents are my peers.

These are but a few examples of how Game is useful even outside of the realm of romantic relationships. Cultivating the virtues that are central to Game will benefit every single relationship and social interaction that you engage in. As your inner mindset changes, so your outward world begins to reflect those inner changes. As you become more adept at interacting with groups, reading individuals, acting assertively and living with confidence, you quickly discover that social interactions are easier to navigate and more enjoyable than ever before. Game is universally useful!


  1. Excellent observations Silas. This is all so true.

  2. You've earned a listing in my weekly Link Round-Up. Excellent post, and I completely agree.

    I learned that confidence is an attitude that is partially born out of realistic self-assessment, and partially born out of a realistic assessment of the world and its various challenges.

    This is an important point. A lot of people mistake confidence for vanity, but I'm very confident because I am keenly aware of both my positive and negative traits, and am therefore not easily shaken by personal attacks.

    For example, if someone says to me, "You are a religious fanatic!" it doesn't bother me in the least. In comparison to most people, I am a religious fanatic, so they are just stating the truth. Which is why I wonder why they bother saying such things at all.

    Although I'm a woman, I do think that I have something akin to Inner Game. Except calmness, but I think women aren't necessarily expected to have that one.

  3. I agree 100%. If guys realised just how life changing game can be, I think they'd be much more willing to push through those first 100 cold approaches.

  4. This all mirrors my experiences with Game knowledge's internal effects (this is different than inner Game mind you). I've called it the benefits of the codification of Game.

    The knowledge that patterns exist such as they do makes us realize that our behaviors aren't necessarily random. They are controllable and pliable. We aren't stuck with our fate; we can change our outcomes.

    This is the most empowering message that Game has taught all of us. The always-mutating techniques of Game aren't all that important; it's the behavioral framework.

    Good post.

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