Benefits of a Large Family - The Never-Ending Party

I am very blessed to be part of a large family. Though my opinions of my family do vary somewhat, never have I felt that it is a burden to have so many siblings. It is a great blessing, and it is a lot of fun! During different periods of life, the relational dynamics have changed and varied. Right now, a good many of my 10 siblings are of sufficient age to have fairly flexible schedules. Four of my brothers effectively have no bedtimes and can stay up as late as they like on most nights. Such a particular set of circumstances has given rise to a fairly new phenomenon: the never-ending party.

While my week is typically fairly busy, I always leave at least a couple of nights open to hang out with different friends and social groups. On Friday nights, one of my groups of friends meets at Starbucks to play assorted board games and card games. Occasionally, I invite my brothers to join us and come drink coffee while playing fun games. One of my brothers drives, but two of the others who frequently accompany me are not yet of age to have a driver's license. One night, I picked up one of my brothers and we went to games night. Afterwards, having ingested copious quantities of coffee, we decided to head back to my apartment and hang out for a little bit. Needless to say, one game soon led to another and next thing we knew it was 4 am. Finally, I drove him back home as the night began to wind down. But, we both were amazed at how much fun could be had on a Friday night.

A couple weeks later, the same brother happened to have another Friday night free, so I came and picked up two of my brothers. We went to games night and then had another afterparty until the wee hours of the morn. The games night plus afterparty combination was an unqualified winner, which absolutely guaranteed an entire night of nonstop fun. Around 3 am one night, I jokingly remarked, "Friday nights are awesome! Party all night; sleep all day." My brother responded, "No. Party all night and party all day!" This began to become a tradition, and another brother began to join us regularly. Sometimes we would go to other event besides games night, as well. But, no matter what we do on Friday, whenever we hang out, we always have an afterparty until at least 3 or 4 in the morning.

While friends are good, in many ways, brothers are even better. While you only ever know your friends to a certain degree, you typically are extremely knowledgable about your siblings. You know what they enjoy, what they love to do, and when they're typically free. You share countless inside jokes, similar interests and common memories. All of this serves as an effective foundation for having unbelievable fun times at a moment's notice. Last week, after partying all night Friday, the next morning I woke up to a call from one of my brothers. He had a couple awesome new ideas for a business project that we are working on together. After discussing the details of that, I asked him, "What are you guys up to later?" Two of my brothers were free, and so a couple hours later we were happily immersed in more fun activities. As my other brother rightly declared, "It's a never-ending party!"

Constructed Desires

Recently, a certain question has surfaced in a number of different ways. It's a perplexing question and not an easy one to answer. In many ways it is a very human question, which relies heavily upon epistemology. In setting up this question, it's important to note a few things. First of all, like it or not, we are all, to a greater or lesser extent, a product of our culture. We do not exist in a vacuum, but receive constant feedback and suggestions from others. Second, we are highly susceptible to suggestion, especially of the pervasive and consistent sort. Given these two things, how can any individual determine which desires of his are natural, and which are artificially constructed?

In the modern world, there exist entire career fields that are devoted to convincing people that they desire certain things. Your life is incomplete without a sleek, new car. Your beauty is seriously lacking unless you have the latest makeup products. You aren't sufficiently cultured unless you've read this book or seen that movie. If only you did this, bought that or lived there you would be happy and content. Of course, it's all a cleverly-contructed lie. But, it works. Because of the constant stream of things we're told, we begin to internalize some of these constructed desires. It's not especially hard to know what you desire. You might think, "I wish I had a different job." Or perhaps its, "I would be happier with a more attractive girlfriend/boyfriend." Maybe it's more innocuous like, "I really want a Pepsi." In most cases, you probably do actually desire whatever you think you desire. But, would you desire whatever it is, if you were simply left to your own devices? Another way to ask it is, it your desire a genuine and natural one, or an artificial and constructed one?

The easiest answer is simply to say that all desires are natural. I want a Pepsi because I actually enjoy it immensely. I want a high-paying job at a good company because that would actually satisfy me. I want to wear nice clothes because I enjoy dressing well. But, this answer can't be quite right. After all, both individual tastes and collective tastes are subjective. What is considered a good job varies from person to person, and even varies in its social status perception from one group to the next. To some, being a Hollywood actor is a very prestigious and desirable job. To others, Hollywood actors, while an understandable part of society, are a bit of a joke; they are viewed as people to be pitied rather than envied. Often our individual preferences conform fairly consistently to the preferences of our various social groups. You avoid certain activities, brands or items because of what your peers would think. You tend towards certain activities, brands or items because they are positively perceived by your peers. Obviously, there are a good many desires that are socially-constructed or socially-modified, rather than being natural.

Contrarily, it is similarly clear that not all desires are socially-constructed. Even when doublethink occurs, there is always some underlying natural desire. Though feminism may teach that women can be quite happy and satisfied in pursuing a career-centric life and eschewing relationships, the innate hard-wired desire of women to raise a family and find meaning through a romantic relationship is something that will inescapably emerge, either when there is still hope or too late. Though relentless advertising may have subconsciously linked thirst with a desire for soft drinks, the underlying thirst is still a natural desire. Though the latest technological fads may seem to promise to be the final gadget you'll need to be happy, a promise which it will not fulfill, the desires for satisfaction and happiness are natural ones. Though many natural desires are diverted or distorted, they still exist on some level and, in their purest form, are completely valid.

It is quite evident that, for the modern person, their desires are a convoluted mixture of natural and artificial desires. The artificial desires almost always promise more than they can deliver. This perpetuates an endless chain of striving, while the dangling lure of satisfaction always remains just barely out of reach. They are deceitful desires. Yet, because of social indoctrination and exposure to the ceaseless barrage of lies, we either falsely hope that the next thing will deliver the satisfaction we seek, or we despair in believing that there is no satisfaction to be found. Blind pursuit or hopeless resignation are not the answer. If there is to be freedom and contentment it must come from cutting through the lies and clinging to the truth. That is no easy task, but it is a necessary discipline if we wish to have contentment and happiness.

In order to be free from the culturally-contructed discontent that permeates our minds, we must be able to separate our natural desires from our artificial ones. We must deny the false belief that having newer or better things, people or circumstances in our lives will bring contentment. Contentment is found only in a consistently practiced attitude of gratitude and in the spiritual discipline of resisting the impulse towards self-gratification. Only once we intentionally climb down off the hedonic treadmill and stopping concerning ourselves with social acclaim and approval will it be possible to be content. It's not an easy task, but it is the only way to be freed from the overwhelming drive towards the next thing that promises meaning and satisfaction. A prettier girl, a new hobby, a bigger house or more vacation hours won't really bring the happiness they promise. Contentment will. But it's a discipline, and quite a challenging one at that. It's one that I struggle with daily.

Positive Thinking Need Not Be Blind

Last week, I wrote a post postulating that a person's outlook on life is the primary determinant of their experience of life. Recently, Talleyrand wrote a post voicing his opposing opinion. Rather than nitpicking over a few unsupported assertations elsewhere in his post, I'm simply going to focus on his primary contentions with such a mindset. Fundamentally, he objects to the idea that a person's outlook on life determines the quality of their life. His first objection to such a view is that magical thinking, as he calls it, necessarily entails an ignorance or denial of reality. He refers to this way of perceiving events and situations as blind optimism.

While I am a firm believer in positive thinking, I do believe that there is a major danger in ignoring reality or denying unpleasant truths. Blind optimism and blind pessmism are equally deadly. In one case, one blindly believes that nothing can or will go wrong--this unswervingly leads to taking foolish risks and crashing up against unexpected and unanticipated negative consequences. In the other case, one blindly believes that nothing can or will go right--this leads directly to hopelessness, despair and unfounded cynicism. If magical thinking truly is inescapably tied to a blindly optimistic paradigm, then Talleyrand's objection would be the silver bullet that soundly vanquishes such false hope.

However, there is no necessity that one live in denial or ignorance to adopt a positive attitude towards life. It is difficult, though certainly not impossible, to embrace painful events and ruinous situations with both eyes wide open, recognizing the reality of the pain and yet not succumbing to resignation, cynicism or despair. It is blindness to foolishly believe that nothing bad will happen. Yet, it takes bold faith and courage to face suffering with a smile. It takes a transcendent perspective to realize that often trials and suffering are helpful occasions to reveals weaknesses of character and bring greater strength. It takes a lion-hearted individual to be undeterred and undaunted even in the face of torture or death. This precise attitude is one that is repeatedly encouraged by the pages of Scripture and exemplified by the apostles and countless Christian martyrs.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4)

I have a recent example from my own life about how positive thinking need not be blind. Last September, my apartment was robbed, and the theives stole over $2500 worth of stuff that I owned. While I could have been bitter about the whole affair, I honestly wasn't especially set back by the occurrence. Objectively, the robbery cost me a lot of money and time, as well as being a major inconvenience. However, in adopting the view advocated by Scripture, I chose to be grateful for what I still had, and to use the incident as a springboard for character-growth. Since my happiness is not rooted in my possessions, I could honestly say, "All things considered, I think the whole robbery might have been a win-win scenario." I penned those words just six days after the robbery. Positive thinking means that one must take in suffering and loss with a broad-angle perspective. When you simply realize that the very worst things that can happen to you aren't that bad, then your soul is free to embrace even the painful parts of life with joy and gratitude. Of course, my example is but a frail and pitiful one compared to someone who has truly suffered.

Richard Wurmbrand, a Romanian pastor who was brutally tortured for his faith, was a shining example of holiness, positive thinking, courage and faith in God. Regarding his time in chains, he writes: "It was strictly forbidden to preach to other prisoners, as it is in captive nations today. It was understood that whoever was caught doing this received a severe beating. A number of us decided to pay the price for the privilege of preaching, so we accepted their terms. It was a deal: we preached and they beat us. We were happy preaching; they were happy beating us—so everyone was happy." What a bold and fearless statement that is! If you but read a fraction of the stories of his imprisonment and torture under the Romanian Communist regime, you will see how much he suffered, and how he consciously and willingly suffered it all. Richard Wurmbrand undeniably demonstrated positive thinking and an incredible faith in God, yet never was he in denial of the very real persecution that he endured.

To believe that everything will turn out well, one must have a clear criteria for what it means for things to turn out well. If, for everything to be good, one must continually be blessed with material wealth, bodily health and a lifestyle of comfort, then denial of reality or discontentment is certain to result. However, if one adopts a posture of humility and gratefulness, then even with nothing but dry herbs and tattered rags there can be near infinite joy. If one's affections are fixed upon the pleasures the world offers, then happiness will ever be elusive. However, if one follows Jesus' advice to "lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal," (Matthew 6:19) then it does not matter how little or much one has, how wealthy or poor one is, how blessed or how tortured one is. When Christ is your surpassing treasure, the promise of God given to us by Paul will never fail, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

The real question that must be asked is, "What is your foundation for happiness?" If your joy rests on that which is transitory and temporal, then your emotional state will be as chaotic as the situations and circumstances of your life. Trying to put on a smiley face with such a foundation necessitates a blind ignorance or a willful denial of that which is unpleasant. However, with a transcendent perspective that welcomes trials and suffering as opportunities for character growth, no such blindness is needed. When one values spiritual freedom, integrity, patience and perseverence more than happiness, then even disastrous incidents and cataclysmic events cannot effectively dampen one's joy. Emotional security and freedom come through valuing that which is most valuable and most intransitory. Cynical resignation, emotional numbness and denial of reality are all equally unhealthy ways to try to maintain emotional equilibrium. Only those who accept and embrace life as it is, with all its pleasures and pains, with all its ecstasy and agony, are able to maintain a consistently positive perspective while remaining fully conscious of all that is.

Therefore, while I agree with Talleyrand that blind optimism is a deadly perspective, to be avoided at all costs, I also would like to point out that blind pessism is equally deadly, since it paints the entire world as darker and more soul-crushing than it truly is. I have to wonder whether his lack of recognition that a positive perspective need not be mere blind optimism is simply a mental oversight, or whether it illustrates a blind pessism and a lack of emotional security. To deny the darkness of life or to deny the goodness in life are both forms of willful blindness. A balanced individual will always recognize and accept the good and bad in everything. A spiritually mature person is able to fully feel and experience both pain and pleasure without becoming numb to either and without becoming either overly cynical or adopting a false facade of happiness.

Thoughts About Valentine's Day

Ever since I was a child, I have always had a certain fondness for Valentine's Day. My sentiments don't seem much shared by modern people. In fact, as a nation, we underappreciate nearly all of our holidays. Some are too trivial. Some carry no personal significance. Some are too religious. Some are too sappy and whimsical. I think that modern attitudes about our holidays are a more accurate reflection of us as a people than a proper critique of the holidays themselves. Presently, we are a people who lack appreciation for what ought to be appreciated. We do not see the magic of our world, and therefore we do not see what is worth celebrating. There is a similar sentiment oft expressed concerning Valentine's day. Some disdainfully refer to it as "singles awareness day," while others complain that it is the prime example of a "hallmark holiday." While holidays are set aside as days of celebration for the rejoicing in that which is most human, some refuse to see anything but the negative side of things. If they take joy and pleasure in the drudgery of celebration, then I will do nothing to interfere with their upside-down days of gloomy rejoicing, but I also shall take part in such a pitiable perspective.

Personally, I think that if anything is to be done, it ought to be done out of joy with a childlike jubilee. Especially holidays! Valentine's Day, while not presently my favorite holiday, is definitely one that I greatly appreciate and thoroughly enjoy. I have enjoyed it when I've been single, and I have enjoyed it when I haven't been. It's a holiday that is about much more than just oneself. It is a celebration of love, closeness, connection, relationships and the glorious and surprising differences between men and women. It is a celebration of that which most matters in life, and of that which is capable of bringing some of the highest human pleasures. While it certainly is about no less than romantic relationships and love affairs, it is definitely not limited to the sphere of romance.

Ironically, Valentine's gifts I've received from girls or activities I've done with girls don't come close in comparison with what has made me feel the most loved on Valentine's day. The most meaningful and satisfying Valentine's days have been ones where my father gave candy to my siblings and me. I've written in the past about my favorite memories of my father. This is another memory that I very much treasure and value. For the most part, my father is not a very expressive man. He rarely talks about his emotions or feelings and he rarely shares his heart with people. During my teenage years, however, every Valentine's day for several consecutive years, my father would always surprise us with a box of delicious chocolate-covered cherry coridals. He never said more than "Happy Valentine's Day," but the very fact the he went out of his way to do anything at all spoke volumes more than his words or even his gifts could convey. They say that it's the thought that counts most, behind a gift. Never have I found a truer and more practical example of that little epigram than in the gifts my father gave us on Valentine's day. Those gifts showed me that he does have a deep fondness for me, despite his general lack of expression concerning such affection. His gifts were sincere, genuine, meaningful and unpretentious.

Indeed, I think that the best way to celebrate Valentine's day, if it is to be celebrated at all, is exactly in that sort of manner. Whatever is done or given should be sincere, genuine, meaningful and unpretentious. Rather than doing something cliché and stereotypical out of duty, if there are to be any expressions of love and appreciation they should be done from the heart. As an artist, I have always thought that buying any sort of store-bought card is quite impersonal. Such a card takes a negligible amount of thought and creativity, and expresses very little of personal significance. When I do give cards for Valentines day, I always prefer to create them myself, either by hand or digitally, depending on my present mood and the complexity of my idea. In such manner, when I do give a card, it is something that is heartfelt and specifically crafted for its recipient. Poems and letters also have a personal touch and significance that far outweigh flowers or chocolates. Simple things are often more meaningful than elaborate gestures, since they always have a purity about them that overblown efforts more frequently lack.

Yet, the most important thing on Valentine's day is never what is done or given, but the specific person or relationship being celebrated. It is easy to lose sight of this in our materialistic age, and it is easy to allow expectations to prevent a person (giver or receiver) from fully enjoying the day. When one sets expectations for what is to be done or given, the emphasis is no longer on what truly matters (love, the person, and the relationship), but instead is on the token of expression. A giver who buys flowers and chocolates out of duty is worse than one who does nothing, because he misses the whole point of the day. Similarly, a receiver who expects to receive certain things also misses the point of the whole day and arbitrarily limits their enjoyment and delight. Chesterton offers a brilliant insight into the blissfulness that accompanies having no expectations:

The man who said, "Blessed is he that expecteth nothing, for he shall not be disappointed," put the eulogy quite inadequately and even falsely. The truth is, "Blessed is he that expecteth nothing, for he shall be gloriously surprised."

Because I enjoy celebrating that which is joyous and wonderful, and because I thoroughly embrace everything that Valentine's day represents and stands for, I am quite excited about the upcoming holiday. I am quite glad that personality exists, that personal relationships are real, that romance is not merely a fantasy, and that love is one of the truest and greatest parts of life! I am completely delighted by the shocking fact that there are two very different sexes, each glorious in its own way! I am extremely thankful for the wonderful people in my life, and especially for those who are the closest to me: my family, my best friend, and my girlfriend! Why should I hesitate to express myself in a way that is slightly more tangible than ordinary expression, when I express myself in so many ways in the ordinary course of things? Valentine's day is gift from God, and I shall rejoice in His love, which is the deepest of all, and in expressing my own love for others.

Of course, that isn't the only reason I celebrate--for some deep and mysterious reason, I have always found these surprisingly delicious and delightful:

Magic Is Everywhere

Magic is something that I ponder a lot. I ponder it and look for it, because I cannot escape the fact that magic is everywhere. Our world may be a reasonable and rational place, but it is not a cold, static, necessary world. It is a wondrous and surprising place which is inescapably full of life, mystery and beauty! Whether you are a hardcore atheist or a devout believer in the biblical creation account, the life, magic and mystery of our universe is unavoidable. When I speak of magic, I'm not just referring to that which is caused by supernatural forces. Instead, I mean that the present state of things is other than it might be, and that in many cases it is a wondrous and awe-inspiring state. I mean that though something may not be irrational or unreasonable, that there is always something fundamental about every person, preference or object which has no finally explicable reason.

It is for this reason, that G.K. Chesteron writes that fairy tales are, in many ways, more rational and reasonable than modern science. In his book which I so dearly love, Orthodoxy, he writes:

It might be stated this way. There are certain sequences or developments (cases of one thing or another), which are, in the true sense of the word, reasonable. They are, in the true sense of the word, necessary. Such are mathematical and merely logical sequences. We in fairyland (who are the most reasonable of all creatures) admit that reason and that necessity. For instance, if the Ugly Sisters are older than Cinderella, it is (in an iron and awful sense) necessary that Cinderella is younger than the Ugly Sisters. There is no getting out of it. Haeckel may talk as much fatalism about that fact as he pleases: it really must be. If Jack is the son of a miller, a miller is the father of Jack. Cold reason decrees it from her awful throne: and we in fairyland submit. If the three brothers all ride horses, there are six animals and eighteen legs involved: that is true rationalism, and fairyland is full of it. But as I put my head over the hedge of the elves and began to take notice of the natural world, I observed an extraordinary thing. I observed that men in spectacles were talking of actual things that happened--dawn and death and so on--as if they were rational and inevitable. They talked as if the fact that trees bear fruit were just as necessary as the fact that two and one trees make three. But it is not. There is an enormous difference by the test of fairyland; which is the test of the imagination. You cannot imagine two and one not making three. But you can easily imagine trees not growing fruit; you can imagine them growing golden candlesticks or tigers hanging on by the tail. These men in spectacles spoke much of a man named Newton, who was hit by an apple, and who discovered a law. But they could not be got to see the distinction between a true law, a law of reason, and the mere fact of apples falling. If the apple hit Newton's nose, Newton's nose hit the apple. That is a true necessity, because we cannot conceive the one occurring without the other. But we can quite well conceive the apple not falling on his nose; we can fancy it flying ardently through the air to hit some other nose, of which it had a more definite dislike. We have always in our fairy tales kept this sharp distinction between the science of mental relations, in which there really are laws, and the science of physical facts, in which there are no laws, but only weird repetitions.

In fairyland we avoid the word "law"; but in the land of science they are singularly fond of it. Thus they will call some interesting conjecture about how forgotten folks pronouced the alphabet, Grimm's Law. But Grimm's Law is far less intellectual than Grimm's Fairy Tales. The tales are, at any rate, certainly tales; while the law is not a law. A law implies that we know the nature of the generalisation and enactment; not merely that we have noticed some of the effects. If there is a law that pick-pockets shall go to prison, it implies there is an imaginable mental connection between the idea of prison and the idea of picking pockets. And we know what the idea is. We can say why we take liberty from a man who takes liberties. But we cannot say why an egg can turn into a chicken any more than we can say why a bear could turn into a fairy prince. As ideas, the egg and the chicken are further off from each other than the bear and the prince; for no egg in itself suggests a chicken, whereas some princes do suggest bears. Granted, then, that certain transformations do happen, it is essential that we regard then in the philosophic manner of fairy tales, not in the unphilosophic manner of science and the "Laws of Nature." When we are asked why eggs turn to birds or fruits fall in autumn, we must answer exactly as the fairy godmother would answer if Cinderella asked her why mice turned to horses or her clothers fell from her at twelve o' clock. We must answer that it is magic. It is not a "law," for we do not understand its general formula. It is not a necessity, for though we can count on it happening practically, we have no right to say that it must always happen. It is no argument for unalterable law (as Huxley fancied) that we count on the ordinary course of things. We do not count on it; we bet on it. We risk the remote possibility of a miracle as we do that of a poisoned pancake or a world-destroying comet. We leave it out of account, not because it is a miracle, and therefore an impossibility, but because it is a miracle, and therefore an exception. All the terms used in the science books, "law," "necessity," "order," "tendency," and so on, are really unintellectual, because they assume an inner synthesis, which we do not possess. The only words that ever satisfied me as describing Nature are the terms used in the fairy books, "charm," "spell," "enchantment." They express the abitrariness of the fact and its mystery. A tree grows fruit because it is a magic tree. Water runs downhill because it is bewitched. The sun shines because it is bewitched.

In this manner, we can clearly see that nearly everything in life is quite magical. We may ask why grass is green, and if we do, we may be able to explain how it comes to appear green, but we can never say why it is green. At the end of every chain of "why" questions, there always is a point at which we must say simply, "It's magic." Why is ours a heliocentric planetary system, rather than a geocentric one? Whether you suggest that it was designed by a creative and intentional God, or by random chance at the hands of impersonal natural forces, it is still is something that has no necessary answer--only a magical one. Why do anteaters have such long tongues? God would say He created it that way because He wanted to. An impersonal universe wouldn't say much at all, but Richard Dawkins would certainly praise the universe for its marvelously rich design.

All the great religions have a place for awe, for ecstatic transport at the wonder and beauty of creation. And it's exactly this feeling of spine-shivering, breath-catching awe — almost worship — this flooding of the chest with ecstatic wonder, that modern science can provide. And it does so beyond the wildest dreams of saints and mystics. The fact that the supernatural has no place in our explanations, in our understanding of so much about the universe and life, doesn't diminish the awe. Quite the contrary. The merest glance through a microscope at the brain of an ant or through a telescope at a long-ago galaxy of a billion worlds is enough to render poky and parochial the very psalms of praise.

Yet, often as we age we lose the wonder that is properly felt at the recognition of the magic so completely encompassing our lives. Why do I even exist? It's magic! Why do I love pomegranate frozen yogurt? It's magic! Why is the sea so beautiful, vast and untamable? It's magic! Why is there such a thing as music? It's magic! Why do I have a nice apartment that I enjoy living in? It's magic! Why do I have as many fun brothers and sisters as I do? It's magic! Why are there two very different genders? It's magic!

While Richard Dawkins' faith may be misplaced, I completely admire his perspective. When he looks at the world around him, he sees the magic that is inescapable, joyous and uplifting! He is rightly filled with an awe of nature! Even lacking a belief in a glorious Creator God, Dawkins revels in God's fantastic creation and declares that it all fills one with ecstatic wonder, beyond the wildest dreams of saints and mystics. Unfortunately, most moderns have lost this sense of childlike delight in the magic of Nature. Whether our imaginations have become dull through the constant pressures of life, whether we've believed the pretty lies that there is nothing extraordinary and nothing special in our world, or whether we simply have lost touch with our world because of distraction, the truth is that magic is all around us, just waiting for us to open our eyes and see it. If only we opened our eyes to see beauty, if only we opened our ears to listen to melody, and if only we opened our hearts to embrace that astounding refrain of nature, we too, would cry out in joy and delight! The saints and mystics saw the magic, and it inspired them to create art. Maltbie Babcock, a 19th-century Presbyterian minister, penned the words to the famous hymn, This Is My Father's World:

This is my Father's world,
and to my listening ears
all nature sings, and round me rings
the music of the spheres.
This is my Father's world:
I rest me in the thought
of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
his hand the wonders wrought.

This is my Father's world,
the birds their carols raise,
the morning light, the lily white,
declare their maker's praise.
This is my Father's world:
he shines in all that's fair;
in the rustling grass I hear him pass;
he speaks to me everywhere.

This is my Father's world.
O let me ne'er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father's world:
why should my heart be sad?
The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!
God reigns; let the earth be glad!

Or, stepping back in time a few thousand years, we have the immortal words of King David, the poet and mystic, found in Psalm 19:

The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
Day unto day utters speech,
And night unto night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech nor language
Where their voice is not heard.
Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world.

In them He has set a tabernacle for the sun,
Which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
And rejoices like a strong man to run its race.
Its rising is from one end of heaven,
And its circuit to the other end;
And there is nothing hidden from its heat.

The wonder and beauty seen by these men is inescapable. They are men filled with delight and wonder whenever they look at the physical world! But, we've lost that wonder. We've lost that delight. We've lost that childlike jubilee. We no longer see the magic. Yet, it's there. It's waiting to be found. Simply opening up one's mind is all that is needed to begin to glimpse the beautiful magic of our world, of the trees and flowers, of our mothers and father, of our wheeled transports and wireless devices, of our lover's faces and all our favorite places, of freshly-grilled sandwiches and delectable fruit salads, of friends and coffee and wintry weather. Though Chesterton wrote his book one hundred years ago, even today there are still spectacled men walking about, who speak about biology as being something entirely devoid of magic. Yet, it's impossible to say that biology isn't magical when it is an irrefutable and incontrovertible fact that magic is everywhere. His assertion speaks very little about biology or our universe and, instead, speaks a great deal about his limited and imagination-less perspective. He writes that there is nothing special about women, despite the fact that they are the ones who bear babies. To him, nothing is magical, nothing is special. While he is correct that women aren't more special than men, he is quite wrong to say that there is nothing magical about women. Life itself is magical! Women are magical! Men are magical! Babies are magical! Biology is magical! Human biodiversity is magical! For the sake of avoiding one error, he commits a far worse one, causing him to miss the beauty and magic of all of Nature.

Let us always be mindful of the magic that surrounds us everywhere. Let us allow our hearts to be filled with gratitude as we appreciate the little things in life, as we notice the subtle details, and as we observe those things that we would normally miss. There may a leprechaun beneath a leaf, or perhaps something equally magically, like a rock. There may be a fairy hiding just out of sight, or a delightful person that we might fail to see unless we are watchful. Those who don't see magic completely miss all the wonders of life, simply because they aren't looking for it. Those who are watchful and vigilant cannot help but see enchanted creatures, spellbound objects and charming people everywhere. With a childlike perspective, all the magic that is around us can easily be seen. Without it, we miss out on the greatest wonders in life. To be fully alive, we must live life and see the world not only through the lenses of the intellect, but also from the window of the heart. We must experience the beautiful! If only our hearts will return to fairyland, we will see that fairyland is never something we grow out of, it is only something that we lose sight of.

Do It Again!

A couple weeks ago I re-read G.K. Chesterton's literary masterpiece, Orthodoxy. It's a book that I read once a year, and its pages are so full of wit and verbal brilliance that I am always struck with new thoughts and ideas. The book itself is fairly short, but thoroughly enjoyable from cover to cover. Rather than using dull and dry arguments for why Christianity must be true, he recounts his own personal religious journey using a plethora of vivid word pictures and imaginative metaphors. As a scholar, he possesses a remarkable grasp of knowledge concerning a vast array of subjects, and yet, as a wordsmith, every single illustration, citation and explanation in the book is presented using words that are both a pleasurae to ponder and a joy to quote. But, I digress. The point of this blog is to express one train of thought that Chesterton adeptly conveys, which I felt to be quite stirring. In fact, the immense pleasure I derive from reading and re-reading Orthodoxy is a prime example of the supreme enjoyment that Chesterton suggests is the deepest meaning of a childlike delight in repetition. Chesterton writes:

All the towering materialism which dominates the modern mind rests ultimately upon one assumption; a false assumption. It is supposed that if a thing goes on repeating itself it is probably dead; a piece of clockwork. People feel that if the universe was personal it would vary; if the sun were alive it would dance. This is a fallacy even in relation to known fact. For the variation in human affairs is generally brought about, not by life, but by death; by the dying down or breaking off of their strength or desire. A man varies his movements of some slight element of failure or fatigue. He gets into an omnibus because he is tired of walking; or he walks because he is tired of sitting still. But if his life and joy were so gigantic that he never tired of going to Islington, he might go to Islington as regularly as the Thames goes to Sheerness. The very speed and ecstacy of his life would have the stillness of death. The sun rises every morning. I do not rise every morning; but the variation is due not to my activity, but to my inaction. Now, to put the matter in a popular phrase, it might be true that the sun rises reguarly because he never gets tired of rising. His routine might be due, not to a lifelessness, but to a rush of life.

There are several ideas and themes touched on in this little paragraph, yet that one idea really jumped out at me. The idea that a rejoicing in monotony could be such a positive thing almost seems an oxymoron. After all, the very word monotony has many negative connotations attached to it. Monotony seems to lead inevitably to boredom. A teacher or speaker who speaks in a monotone is the most dull and unexciting sort to listen to. Monochrome movies aren't nearly as rich and sensually appealing as films in color. My first thoughts were that monotony couldn't possibly be a good thing. After all, it is commonly said that variety is the spice of life. It would seem that the key to an excess of life and joy would be an abundance of variety and not an excess of repetition. Yet, as I got beyond my initial thoughts and began to ponder Chesterton's little idea, the more true it seemed--beyond true, it seemed incontrovertible! Many of the highest pleasures in life are things that we do again and again. While you might watch a movie you enjoy once or twice, any movie that you love you will inevitably watch many times and perhaps memorize all the key lines. While I have fairly broad tastes in music and listen to all sorts of tunes, the albums I listen to most frequently are the ones from my favorite band; I listen to them again and again because they are thoroughly delightful to me. Your closest friends are the people that you want to see again and again, while the friends you're not as attached to you only see occasionally. Indeed, while there are many enjoyable things that one does only once, all of the most enjoyable activities are the things one does repeatedly. Chesterton builds his idea even more:

The thing I mean can be seen, for instance, in children, when they find some game or joke they specially enjoy. A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absense, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore. Heaven may encore the bird who laid an egg. If the human being conceives and brings forth a human child instead of bringing forth a fish, or a bat, or a griffin, the reason may not be that we are fixed in an animal fate without life or purpose. It may be that our little tragedy has touched the gods, that they admire it from their starry galleries, and that at the end of every human drama man is called again and again before the curtain. Repetition may go on for millions of years, by mere choice, and at any instant it may stop. Man may stand on the earth generation after generation, and yet each birth be his positively last appearance.

It is fascinating to realize that children are more simply entertained and amused than adults. The young are more easily delighted with simpler things, and willing to do them longer and more often because of the joy they take in such things. Adults are quickly bored, and have such high expectations towards people and experiences that few can satisfy. Especially in affluent modern America, we are so used to having the best that anything ordinary seems almost too plain to enjoy. It does take a certain strength and a certain mindset to exult in monotony. Yet, the reward for such inner strength is continually joy. Looking it from that perspective, boredom clearly reveals a failure of perspective, a lack of desire or expectations that are too high. Chasing after pleasure by trying new things constantly and seeking entertainment frantically is utterly the wrong way to go about finding joy and delight. While there is a measure of happiness found in enjoying new things, the most enjoyable things are those that we do again. Trying a new frozen yogurt shop may result in a measure of pleasure. But, revisiting your favorite frozen yogurt shop will be a much more enjoyable experience. Listening to new music will be fun, but listening to music that you already love won't disappoint. Making new friends is fun, but spending time with people you already love will inevitably be a joyous celebration of kinship. While dating many women brings a certain amount of pleasure, there is greater joy to be found in marrying one amazing woman than the eternal philanderer will ever find. Trying many different kinds of art is pleasurable, but mastering your favorite form of art is even more wonderful. The same can be said about nearly all other realms of human experience.

Our experience of life will be much richer when we adopt a childlike attitude of delight in doing the same wonderful things again and again. "Do it again" is the ultimate cry of delight in a person, thing or experience! How much happier we would be if we chose to exult in monotony and if every single day were lived as an encore to the previous one! And that is why I read Orthodoxy every year. It is one of those supreme delights in my life. Not once have I been disappointed by reading it; instead, every time I read it I am mesmerized again and filled with a greater appreciation of the whole of life!

Modern Civilization Suffocates Masculinity

While watching Defiance a couple of weeks ago, I was struck by the manliness of the two main characters. The Bielski brothers were both amazing men who exuded courage, confidence, resolve, assertiveness and unequivocal psychosocial dominance. They were both alpha males in every sense of the word. Both were leaders of men, resourceful, appropriately violent, and skilled with women. As I was contemplating the many things I admired about them, one aspect of the whole thing really struck me. Adversity. These were both men whose masculinity was best developed in adversity and best revealed by adversity. While facing constant danger of death from the German soldiers, the natural elements of the wilderness and even from dissent within their group of Jewish refugees, they were strengthened, and their strength was clearly manifested for all to see.

As a man who strives to further develop my own masculinity, and embrace everything it means to be a man, my thoughts turned to the sorts of adversity that we face, living in modern civilization. While considering this, I realized that ironically, modern civilization stands opposed to nearly everything masculine. While masculinity thrives in situations of danger, is stengthened by using one's strength, and needs a healthy amount of true challenge, modern civilization seeks to minimize all three of those. While basic civilzation increases people's survival, tames the land, provides sufficient food and makes life managable, modern civilization has gone far beyond the basic requirements, such that we have gone far beyond the point of diminishing returns. Modern civilization seeks to provide perfect protection from the elements, reduce the amount of manual labor needed to almost none, decrease physical danger of all sorts, and provide maximum comfort.

Think for example, about all the changes our world has undergone in the past few centuries. Just a hundred years ago, horses and carriages were still widely used. The automobile had only just started to become a popular consumer item. Owning a car lessens the need for walking, biking, horse riding or even keeping animals. Less physical effort is required to go anywhere. Similarly, while hunting was a staple of American living for years, now modern grocery stores provide us with foods from all over the world, and requires minimal effort--you simply have to put your items in a basket and carry them to the checkout counter. Not only is hunting no longer necessary for food, but there are presently numerous restrictions and laws governing when, where, and what you can hunt--and that's not even considering the weapon licensure laws! Even cooking is no longer a necessity, since we have microwaves and fast food restaurants. While having a yard requires a certain amount of labor just to maintain one's property, urban living almost completely dispense with yards, trees, gardens and lawns. Living in apartment means that you only have to vacuum occasionally, and perhaps clean your bathtub every so often. No serious yardwork is needed. With mass-produced, lightweight furniture, even the heavy lifting that we do requires less effort than a short workout at the gym. Our air-tight windows and doors, along with air conditioners and heaters allow us to nearly completely avoid the elements both when we travel and in our homes. Not only is our life devoid of natural danger and the need for strength in ordinary everyday life, but there is very little of the synthetic sort of danger.

While in times past, a man needed to be ready and able to fight for his country, or protect his home from bestial or human violence, in modern civilization the place for violence is highly segregated and optional. Unless you go and join the armed forces or become a police officer, nearly all violence is either unnecessary or positively forbidden. Just about the most violent things a man can legally do are play tackle football, take a martial arts class, or take up boxing, wrestling or MMA fighting. Though those are all forms of struggle, none of them offer any serious danger. While you might get injured, the odds of losing life or limb are quite remote. It's safe danger. Living in one of the most powerful countries in the world (though that is quickly changing exactly because America is increasingly filled with feminized weaklings) means that there is very little real threat of war breaking out in the continental US. In the ordinary course of events in modern civilization, we really couldn't be much safer. Any real danger that city dwellers face is incidental and exceptional.

Because of this, there is very little room for the masculine soul to grow and find satisfaction. Life for a man is much more enjoyable and challenging when his strength is needed, when life itself requires a certain amount of struggle, and where there is true danger. Since modern civilization seeks to decreases all of these things, as much as possible, by ensuring safety, making tasks easier and more effortless, and freeing us up to sit on plush couches watching our big-screen TVs while sipping beer, it deprives a man of what he really wants and needs. Modern civilization effectively suffocates masculinity. In Defiance, the two lead characters became the strong men that they did because they lived in the midst of adversity and allowed the adversity to strengthen them. Masculinity needs a healthy amount of adversity to develop and thrive. Modern civilization offers no true adversity of any sort. Only where there is dysfunction does any true adversity rise to the surface. I think that such a lack of adversity is actively harmful to men all over our country. These are the times that try men's souls, precisely because these are times that do not try men's souls.

Passion - The Key To Joyous Living

Life is quite a multi-faceted experience. One thing that I have been reflecting on lately is the necessity of living with passion and drive. Simply put, life is the most rewarding and enjoyable when you are doing things that you are passionate about, and when you are passionate about the things that you are doing. During the past couple of weeks, there have been several days when I've felt like I'm in a bit of an emotional slump. That might be related to my having a bit of a cold, which saps my energy significantly, or it might be because I'm not as passionate about some aspects of my life as I want to be. The more aspects of life that one is really excited about, the happier one will be.

So, what should a person do when they aren't feeling as motivated and passionate as they want to be? As that question has been percolating in my mind, I have settled on two different answers, which work best when used in conjunction. First of all, do things you are passionate about. Secondly, be passionate about the things that you do. While those two answers sound very similar, they are actually quite distinct and require very different mindsets and attitudes.

Doing things that you are passionate about requires you to know what you are passionate about. If you do know what you are passionate about, doing those things more leads to more joy and natural energy. One thing I really love is playing, writing and arranging music. Whenever I'm playing lots of music, time goes by quickly, I feel very fulfilled and am proud of my accomplishments. Whenever I'm not playing enough music, it always feels like something is missing and absent from my life. Even though I'm passionate about music, sometimes I get so wrapped up in doing other things that I neglect to play as much as my soul desires. Part of doing the things you are passionate about means carving out specific times to do the things you love, which often means reducing the quantity of less-exciting things you are doing.

Another part of doing things you are passionate about requires living with an adventurous spirit by trying new activities and experiences. Broadening your experiential world expands your understanding of life, improves your ability to connect with other people and helps you to find more things that you are passionate about--which you never knew you are passionate about because you hadn't tried them before. Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone, or push the boundaries of what is familiar and normal, and other times it just means that you have to be creative and train yourself to think in new ways. Recently, sensing that I wasn't as passionate about life as I wanted to be, I started exploring my world and looking for something new to do. As someone who loves playing games (primarily board games, card games and pen & paper role-playing games), I stopped by a local Games Workshop and started to learn about hobby gaming, which combines aspects of wargaming (more in-depth and involved than board games) with artistic creativity (assembling and painting your army). While I do have a decent collection of miniature figures, I have never before assembled or painted my own, and I've been quite enjoying the new challenges that comes from exercising my creativity in new ways. Though I'm not very good at it yet, since I just began last week, I really enjoy conceptualizing and painting my little soldiers. Similarly, my best friend was looking for something new to do, and just over a month ago he borrowed my acoustic guitar and starting teaching himself to play. Since then, he's been playing non-stop and even put on a little show at his grandmother's birthday party last Saturday. Yesterday, we drove down to Guitar Center and he bought his own electro-acoustic guitar. After buying it, he looked as thrilled as if he had won the lottery. Trying new things is a great way to discover more things that you are passionate about and to discover talents you didn't know you had.

The second part of living a joyous and passionate life is to be passionate about the things you are doing. This sort of attitude is quite similar to contentment and akin to gratitude, which both do not come naturally, but must be continually cultivated. Often there are things in your life that you used to enjoy, but now you feel very apathetic towards and half-hearted about doing. Thankfully, the downward trend of enjoyment is something that typically is reversible. My attitude towards going to church has been consistently waning for a few months. Because of that, I wasn't going as often, and when I did go, I didn't enjoy it as much as I did six months ago. Realizing this caused me to stop and reflect on why my heart wasn't in it as much. As I pondered this, I realized that one reason I felt less excited and engaged was that I had begun to take it for granted, rather than regarding going to church, worshipping God and fellowshipping with my church friends as a privilege. Another reason that my enthusiasm diminished was that I lost sight of the big picture, and consequently, forgot the value of the church community and communal worship. After those realizations, I make a conscious effort to remind myself of the reasons that I go to church, and consciously chose to engage my heart fully when I went. This last Sunday, as a result of my refreshed perspective, I felt more thankful and glad to be there, and God spoke to my heart through the sermon. Whenever there's something you used to love but are losing your enjoyment of, it's time to stop and reflect on what makes a certain activity or experience so great. Gratitude and contentment are attitudes that must be continually cultivated, and they always lead to more passionate and joyous living.

Sometimes there are things that you have to do, which you've never particularly liked. Personally, I think that if there's something you have to do, you might as well enjoy doing it. Jobs often fall into this category. While some people are truly enamored with their job, typically that is the exception, rather than the rule. Most people go to work because they have to, and aren't especially excited about it. While it might not be possible to be utterly delighted with your job, you can certainly brighten your outlook and increase your joy by focusing on the positive aspects and actively taking note of the things you enjoy about it. Downward comparison also will increase your satisfaction with things that feel like unpleasant necessities. For example, even though sometimes my job involves a lot of boring, mindless programming, the very fact that I have a job in this economy is something to be thankful for. It pays well, the hours are flexible, my coworkers are great and we have the most amazing foosball matches during breaks every afternoon. While going to work might not be my favorite thing to do, when I look at from the right perspective it actually seems quite wonderful. You can apply this positive attitude to nearly anything in your life. Household chores, paying rent, necessary social functions and studying for tests can become things that you are passionate about if you simply remind yourself of all the blessings and benefits that accompany such necessities.

So, if your life is presently full of lots of things that you are excited and passionate about, rejoice in all of it and maintain an attitude of contentment and gratitude. If you're feeling that life is a bit lackluster, then make more time for the thing you love, be adventurous and try new things, and cultivate a positive attitude towards the things you are doing. Living passionately is the best way to have a joyous, invigorating and fulfilling life!