Sunday, May 30, 2010

Tower of Babel Phenomenon - Part 1

In a tendency nearly as old as history, people have worked towards living in highly populated areas. In present times, we call such a thing urbanization. Yet, such a tendency is not a healthy thing. Scripture clearly takes a stance against such inclinations, and against the Tower of Babel phenomenon.
Now the whole earth had one language and one speech. And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar, and they dwelt there. Then they said to one another, “Come, let us make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They had brick for stone, and they had asphalt for mortar. And they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.”

But the LORD came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built. And the LORD said, “Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them. Come, let Us go down and there confuse their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.” So the LORD scattered them abroad from there over the face of all the earth, and they ceased building the city. Therefore its name is called Babel, because there the LORD confused the language of all the earth; and from there the LORD scattered them abroad over the face of all the earth.

Genesis 11:1-9
Typically, in the Old Testament, God only intervenes in the case of fairly major events. He intervened when Adam & Eve sought to be their own moral authority rather than obey God's commands. He intervened when all the people on earth were thoroughly wicked. Here in this passage, He intervened when people decided to congregate in one small region, rather than spread themselves out appropriately. Clearly, there is something about people creating and abiding in densely populated areas that God opposes. This passage doesn't give us a crisp bullet-point summary of the reasons God opposed the Tower of Babel, but that doesn't leave us completely in the dark.

What major social problems does urbanization create? There are several effects that are fairly substantial. It disconnects people from nature. It isolates people from one another. It accelerates the pace at which culture affects individuals and groups. Also, it lends itself towards an undue societal hubris. Each one of these effects are quite troublesome in their own right. In aggregate, they are more than sufficient to persuade a rational person that urbanization is a great evil to be ardently avoided.

Urbanization disconnects people from nature in several ways. The first and most obvious way it does so is simply by the fact that the social planning of high-density urban environments requires that vast amounts of natural resources be stripped away. Whatever plants and trees exist within an urban area are sparse and synthetically added. Fields, forests, lakes and streams become attractions and locations to visit, rather than being everday parts of one's life. Also, the specialization of labor that urbanization lends itself to contributes to a general lack of awareness of our ecosystem. Rather than farming being an indispensible part of one's life and an integral part of a community, it is a distant afterthought. Husbandry is a field of arcane and esoteric knowledge. Our involvement with food rarely stretches beyond the supermarket, restaurants and the kitchen (if that far).

Exercise is another thing that ceases to exist within its natural context. In a state of nature, exercise is an unavoidable part of life. Work requires physical exertion. Travel is a more visceral and physically-involved experience. Regular exertion to provide for oneself and one's family and to maintain one's land are simply facts of life. Contrarily, in an urban world, it is quite simple to pass several days or even weeks without moving substantially. Work means sitting at a desk, standing behind a counter, or sitting in meetings all day long. Traveling is as simple as sitting in your car and operating a couple of pedals. The plethora of entertainment options available to us makes being a couch potato an alluring possibility. And so, to offer people a way to move their bodies, we have created a new synthetic environment: the gym. Working out becomes an artificially-contrived activity, rather than a natural and inseparable part of existence.

Not only does the urban lifestyle disconnect one from natural motion, but when combined with modernity, it also disconnects us from the natural cycle. Day and night cease to hold much meaning when light bulbs allow us to stay up until 4 AM and sleep in until noon. When you spend enough time indoors, even the difference between day and night is quite indistinct. Seasons cease to matter, when local supermarkets stock seasonal fruits year-round. So it is, in many ways, that the tendency of people to congregate in a small area of dense population contributes substanstantially to a major disconnection from nature. Both in our knowledge and experientially, nature becomes something that does not intersect with life as often as it should.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Guess My Name Game

There are many various ways to approach women and cultivate their interest in you. Almost on accident, I have stumbled across an interesting way to generate more interest, establish solid frame and measure a girl's attraction for you. I call this technique the Guess My Name Game. Fundamentally, you approach a pickup just like you would any other, with one small exception. You do not introduce yourself. Initially, this has little to no effect. But, as the interaction goes on, a girl's curiosity starts to get the best of her. When she finally asks for your name, you can either take the easy route and simply tell her, or you can begin the Guess My Name routine.

The Guess My Name routine has several different variants. Either you can use it as a springboard for some good-natured teasing and verbal sparring, or you can use it as the condition of a bet, with a date as the object. The first version isn't very structured. When she asks your name, just tell her to guess. After a few guesses, you throw out a hint along with a neg like, "I thought women were supposed to be intuitive." Depending on the vibe, you can either keep it going for a while, adding more hints occasionally, or just tell her that's she's run out of guesses. The second version of the routine is a bit more structured. When she asks for your name you say, "I've got a better idea. You seem like a fun-loving girl. Do you like to make bets?" After her response, you say, "Okay, so here's a fun idea. I will give you two major hints about my name. You have 10 guesses. If you correctly guess my name, then I'll have to buy you a smoothie this Saturday. If you don't guess my name, then you have to buy me a smoothie. Sound good?" Of course, you can substitute a location and date purchase of your own: coffee, drinks, dinner, a movie, or whatever.

Not only is this routine a lot of fun, but it has several advantages from a technical standpoint. When you know a girl's name, and she doesn't yet know your name, it subconsciously reinforces the frame that you are a high-value and desirable guy. You are the one being chased, and not vice-versa. She must put in effort to find out your name. Secondly, the very fact that she wants to know your name is a solid IOI. Early on in the interaction, she doesn't really care if she knows your name, since you are just some guy she randomly met. As she become more invested in the interaction, she begins to actively desire to know your name, because she already feels a bit of attraction. The pickup is definitely going well when there's been enough positive interaction that she is emotionally invested enough to care about knowing your name. Lastly, by having fun and making her guess, you are demonstrating higher value by showing that you can even turn simple things into playful experiences and by showing her that you're not just the same as every other guy.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Double-Edged Sword of Social Influence

For all the talk about individuality, individual freedom, and individual capacity, the inescapable conclusion that the observant mind reaches is that individuals are not nearly so independent as they like to believe they are. Humans are, unarguably, social creatures who are profoundly impacted by the people they associate with. While some people are more malleable than others, and one gender is more prone to be adaptable than the other, the simple truth remains, that all of us are both profoundly and directly impacted by the people that we associate with, whose ideas we, to some extent, internalize.

On the micro level, this is why there is much wisdom in choosing who one associates with. Often you will find yourself adopting similar mannerisms, verbal expressions, and interests as those you spend much time with. The morality and behaviors of those in your social groups affect your own personal values. You become more like those that you spend time with. This is true not only of those that you spend time with in person, but also of those people that you indirectly associate with by reading their writings and contemplating their opinions. In the Scripture it is written that, "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." (Prov. 13:20) Similarly it is written, "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals." (1 Cor. 15:33) For this reason, it is important to be vigilant and highly-aware of how the people in your life are impacting you. Apart from having positive peer pressure and people who are good role models to follow, it is extremely challenging to cultivate and maintain Godly morals and a healthy view on life. With a positive social circle, it becomes easy and natural to improve and whole-heartedly pursue personal growth. With a negative social circle, it becomes quite easy to fall into similar ways of acting and poor ways of perceiving life.

On the macro level, when considering a society as a whole, individuals do not have as much impact over their destinies as they wish. Societal values and paradigms, to a certain extent, directly impact one's own way of thinking. The views and values of a society, as conveyed through media, and perpetuated by those who buy into the prevailing paradigms, affect everyone in a society. Not only is the moral and cultural baseline established as the societal mean, but even the outliers are affected by aggregate social values. Churches are not isolated from the cultural forces at work within a society. Academic institutions are not free from the philosophical presuppositions of its faculty and students. Political institutions are not untainted by the private morality of politicians. Large corporate entities are not unaffected by the vices of those who work for them and direct their corporate actions. And so, due to the fundamentally interconnected nature of a society, the direction a nation is headed is, for the most part, a completely self-reinforcing one. Positive values and paradigms result in the continual betterment of both a society as a whole, and the many parts of a society, including individuals. Harmful values and paradigms that are broadly held set in motion a downward spiral that cannot be held back by a few lone outliers. A society stands or falls together. Individuals stand or fall based on the society that they are part of.

The power of social influence, both on the microcosmic and macrocosmic levels, is something that should never be underestimated or neglected. The interconnectedness and self-reinforcing nature of social relationships yields a powerful force that can be used for much good or can cause great evil. It is for this reason that God primarily deals with groups of people corporately, rather than with people as individuals. His covenant with the nation of Israel is one that was with the entire nation of Israel, and not simply with the individuals who comprise the nation of Israel. They stood or fell together. God either blessed the whole nation, or cursed and brought destruction upon the whole nation. In the same way, as America has rejected God, Christian morality, and righteous living, so our nation is in a self-reinforcing downward spiral. Unless there is a societal repentence and return to the foundational principles upon which America was founded, there is no hope for our nation. Where once the power of social influence was used for good, and established a nation that was obedient to God, now the power of social influence hastens our ruin.

If, as individuals, we wish to have any impact on those in our social circles and our society as a whole, we must recognize the power of social influence. We must be shrewd and circumspect in recognizing how social influence impacts us. We must establish small groups and communities that value the right things and live righteously. There must be firm consequences for those who hold wrong views or engage in wrong behaviors. Men, especially, must seek to be godly and reponsible leaders within their families and social circles. Tolerance and easy forgiveness must be eschewed, and virtue firmly pursued, else there is no hope. As philosopher Edmund Burke insightfully stated, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." The beautiful counterpoint to that statement is, when good men boldly take action to pursue righteousness and exhort others to do the same, social change becomes possible. Yet, it is a task requiring much strength and perseverence. To reverse the tide requires no less than a miracle. The momentum presently carries our society at a breakneck pace towards the brink of destruction.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Political Games and Media Twisting

As someone who firmly values liberty and justice, I am quite excited to see how well Rand Paul fared in the Kentucky primaries earlier this week. Given that our senate is quite out of control, and is currently filled with corrupt individuals who cater to corporate whims and seek to expand government intervention, I strongly believe that if there is to be any hope for America, we must elect officials who take firm stances against more unjust government intervention into people's lives. As such, I wholeheartedly support and endorse Rand Paul's senate campaign.

Of course, the corrupt liberal media is opposed to anything related to freedom or integrity. As such, they are more than happy to twist his words and write headlines that are blatantly and knowingly false. Here in the news, Rand Paul is reported as drawing fire for stating his views on the 1964 Civil Rights Act. While he does oppose discrimination in the public realm and in politics, he also believes that privately-owned businesses should have every right to choose whom they wish to hire. Discrimination laws, in his opinion, should not extend to private businesses. Now, the media posted a new article with the headline, "Paul changes course, now supports Civil Rights Act in full." Of course, this most certainly isn't what Rand Paul himself said in any interview or public statement.

As usual, the media has no qualms with directly twisting peoples' words and stances to fit the media's own institutional agendas, no matter how much deception and blatant dishonestly is used in the process. Rand Paul's stance is concerned with the laws that impact the liberties of business owners, while the politically-correct media seeks to frame the issue in terms of racism. At first, when I read that second headline, I felt disappointed that Rand Paul would backpedal on his stance on the issue. Then, in researching it more, I discovered that he hadn't backpedaled at all. The lies that are daily fed to us require a skeptical mind and willingness to search for the truth in order to overcome. Especially when they are the covering issues of any importance, the media is more likely to lie and twist the facts than not. Be wary!

Friday, May 14, 2010

The Five Goals of Education

In developing my own paradigm on the ideal methods of education, my attention has turned to the purpose and goals of education. What about education is valuable? Why do we desire to educate children at all? The purpose of education is simply this: education is the means by which a person is taught the things they need to know to live life well. Any form of learning that better equips a person for practical life is of worth. Those methods of learning that best prepare a person for practical life are the most worthwhile. In order to achieve that end, it seems that there are five different goals that a complete educational program must seek to achieve. These goals are presented in order of priority. Though there is unavoidably some overlap between each of the goals, the ones presented first are the most important and the ones presented last are the least vital (though still quite indispensible).

1. Moral and Spiritual Indoctrination
In order to live life well, it is unavoidable that one must define what is meant by living life well. Without a philosophical framework that serves as the foundation of a person's worldview, whatever knowledge is gleaned exists in a decontextualized form. Decontextualized knowledge is useless for providing meaningful direction in life. Therefore, before any knowledge is useful, a person must be instilled with a sound moral, metaphysical and epistemological foundation, upon which all further learning will be supported. Apart from sound morals and a unified life purpose, a nation cannot thrive or, in many cases, even survive for a prolonged period. Apart from individuals being properly educated in the ways of Godly morality and a Godly vision for life, no society can hold common sound morals and a unified life purpose. The first goal of education, then, must be to properly indoctrinate young minds so that they understand their duties in society within the context of Biblical teaching.

2. Complex Communication
In order to properly interact with people, to understand ideas and be able to effectively communicate, it is necessary that education equip a person with the skills needed to engage in complex communication. The ability to comprehend that which is conveyed through speech, imagery and written word is an indispensible part of this. Well-developed verbal skills are essential for being able to learn, being able to communicate with others, being able to relate to others, being able to function and excel in the modern economy and being able to clearly and concisely articulate one's opinions on a given matter. The ability to communicate at a high level necessitates not only sound verbal skills, but also the ability to process and interpret non-verbal information, especially since in-person communication primarily consists of non-verbal information such as unspoken context, body language, facial expression and tonality.

3. Expert Thinking
Another crucial skill that enables people to live life well is the skill of expert thinking. The ability to cognitively process a variety of problems and challenges and figure out practical solutions is a necessary skill for handling the dynamic array of challenges of which life consists. While some problems may be routine and can easily be solved by applying simple heurisitics, people are often faced with challenges and tasks unlike anything previously dealt with. A person's problem-solving skills are dependent both on their possession of applicable knowledge and on their ability to utilize expert thinking to determine the best way to apply such knowledge. For this reason, it is vital that education teach a person how to mentally approach challenges and figure them out. It is not enough to simply know a few answers, instead it is vital that a person be able to think outside the box and figure things out for themself. Expert thinking is extremely helpful both in the job market and in day-to-day living.

4. General Body of Knowledge
Typically, this is regarded as one of the main goals of education. While it isn't the most crucial goal, there is no doubt that having a broad knowledge of various topics is quite practically useful. Generalized knowledge is extremely useful whenever one encounters a new piece of information. With a sound mental framework for contextualizing new information, it can easily be processed and added to one's long-term memory bank. The broader one's knowledge of any given subject, the more easily new information can be considered, processed and mentally filed. For this reason, once one has well-developed communication skills and cognitive thinking skills, it is quite useful to develop a large breadth of knowledge, with at least a little bit of familiarly with each subject that is encountered in daily life.

5. Specialized Body of Knowledge
While possessing a sound foundation of general knowledge is quite useful, it is also essential for a person to possess at least one specialized body of knowledge, with a greater depth of understanding and familiarity of that subject. Having a large quantity of specialized information in a field highly demanded by the modern economy will ensure that good jobs are relatively easy to acquire and simple to retain. Specialized knowledge is also something that is naturally developed related to a person's hobbies or personal interests. The more effort that is put into learning about any specific topic or pursuit, the broader one's knowledge of the topic and the greater one's mastery of that topic will be. One of the goals of education is to prepare a person for life by helping them develop sufficient mastery over fields that are applicable to their life.

Before considering the best and more useful methods and means of providing education, it is necessary to consider these five goals of education, and how each aligns with the overall purpose of education.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Political Correctness - A Preclude to Thoughtcrime

Political correctness is something that is both strongly encouraged and strongly opposed, depending on which parties you are looking at. Some people feel that using politically correct language is a necessary way to treat others with respect and dignifiy them as human beings. Others feel that the entire political correctness movement unjustly strips people of liberties that they should have. My stance falls squarely in that of the latter group of people. Yesterday, I had a fascinating discussion with a politically conservative friend, and our conversation veered towards the new immigration laws in Arizona and the ridiculous racial meme that many try to conflate with this new legislation.

Political correctness can be defined as: "a term which denotes language, ideas, policies, and behavior seen as seeking to minimize social and institutional offense in occupational, gender, racial, cultural, sexual orientation, disability, and age-related contexts." Taken to an extreme, political correctness would result in the following three things. Individuals would not treat anyone differently, regardless of nearly any meaningful difference. Individuals would not use language that denote others as different. Individuals would not even hold ideas or think thoughts that perceive others as different. Everyone who is working towards achieving a politically-correct utopia is working towards the enforcement of those three things. Already, we have a plethora of anti-discrimination laws that affect employment and housing. Already, we have hate speech laws, severely restricting free speech.

The next logical progression of the political correctness movement is to take an even more authoritarian stance by cracking down further on both behavior and speech. Following that, the only remaining goal left to achieve is that of creating legislation banning thoughtcrime. Thoughtcrime, of course, is any idea or opinion that is deemed unacceptable by the ruling elite. The prohibition of thoughtcrime would mark the complete end to all liberty. If those in power say that 2+2=5, then it must be true. If those in power say that men and women are no different, then it's a crime to think otherwise. If the ruling elite say that that there is no distinction between the elderly and the young, then such must be the established facts. Any thinking contrary to this is criminal behavior, worthy of whatever punishments are deemed appropriate.

Politically correct thinking, even though it has not reached its natural end, already involves massive amounts of doublethink. Ideologically, political correctness denies that there is any functional correlation between social diversity and individual ability. It denies that the very real diversity that exists has any practical effect on life. A woman can do a job as well as a man. A hispanic immigrant will be as well-suited for a computer programming job as a college-educated white man. An elderly man is as capable of working hard and being profitable as a young fellow. The simple fact is, even though there may be rare exceptions, generally those differences are substantial. It is irrational and insane to suggest otherwise. Those who turn everything into a debate about racism or sexism invariably deny that race or sex has any effect on one's ability to perform certain tasks, be good tenants, or even be decent people. They insist that all individuals engage in doublethink by simultaneously recognizing the very real diversity that exists, while simultaneously denying both the existence of diversity and the inescapable implications of that diversity.

For the same reason that I oppose all unjust restrictions on peoples' liberty, I also oppose political correctness in both its aims and its practical application. Whatever actions are just ought to be allowed, regardless of whether they are "fair" or not, as defined by the modern liberal. Whatever words are accurate (and even a good many that are not) ought to be permitted, regardless of whether they are offensive. Whatever thoughts and opinions a person has, they should be allowed to hold them. Only those actions which are unjust should be restricted by law. Political correctness tramples all over justice and freedom by restricting not merely unreasonable thoughts, words and actions, but also a great many reasonable ones. Political correctness, in its present incarnation, is a formal prelude to the concept of thoughtcrime.

Monday, May 10, 2010

LTR Game - A Little Bit of Mystery

The human mind is always intrigued by the unknown. Whenever there is something that seems both interesting and knowable, while remaining unknown, it tantalizes the mind. Not only is use of the unknown a critical component of good stories and good movies, but in some measure, it is indispensable in a good relationship. Sometimes, in a relationship, openness and vulnerability is the best stance, while at other times, a little bit of mystery is precisely what is needed. Being able to effectively add a hint of mystery to your persona or your actions is a valuable skill to utilitize in running LTR game.

Depth of personality is primarily gauged based on perception. As such, there is little fundamental difference between actual mystery and perceived mystery. The simple fact that something which could be shared is being withheld provides plenty of fuel for the mind to ponder. It is fairly easy to cultivate a hint of mystery, and there are numerous ways to do it. Using wording that is intentionally ambiguous or indefinitive always allows for various possible interpretations. Reframing or avoiding an innocent direct question suggests the possibility of something hidden. Altering one's behavior slightly or being spontaneous implies a more nuanced personality.

Sometimes, when my LTR asks me what I'm up to, I let her know what exciting things I have planned. Last Friday afternoon, after a couple of texts back and forth, she texted me: "What are you up?" I replied: "Bet you wish you knew." Hoping I would answer her original question, she prompted: "I do wish I knew... hee hee hee!!!" Of course, whenever you're hinting at mystery, you can never reveal whatever is alluded to as mysterious. Hence, I never sent her a reply. An hour later she sent, "Well i hope your having fun... whatever you up are doing!!!" Naturally, I did just that. The next day, she was still somewhat curious about what I'd been up to. When I picked her up, she asked me, "Did you have fun last night?" One simply reply was all I needed, "Of course!"

As with anything in life, mystery must be cultivated in proper proportions. Too much mystery and you will seem unknowable and inhuman, which might work for STR game and seduction, but will prevent LTRs from developing very far. Too little mystery and you will seem boring, predictable and at least somewhat uninteresting. But, cultivating a certain amount of characteristic mystery serves to greatly enhance your interestingness and attractiveness. Learn to replace statements with insinuations occasionally. Every once in a while, reframe an innocent and harmless question. Learn to be spontaneous and keep things fresh. That way, even when your LTR isn't with you, she'll be curious about what you're up to, what you might do next, and what exciting things might be in store for the next time she sees you. With a little bit of mystery in your persona, she'll never know for certain--which will intrigue and fascinate her!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Benefits of a Large Family - The Never-Ending Party

I am very blessed to be part of a large family. Though my opinions of my family do vary somewhat, never have I felt that it is a burden to have so many siblings. It is a great blessing, and it is a lot of fun! During different periods of life, the relational dynamics have changed and varied. Right now, a good many of my 10 siblings are of sufficient age to have fairly flexible schedules. Four of my brothers effectively have no bedtimes and can stay up as late as they like on most nights. Such a particular set of circumstances has given rise to a fairly new phenomenon: the never-ending party.

While my week is typically fairly busy, I always leave at least a couple of nights open to hang out with different friends and social groups. On Friday nights, one of my groups of friends meets at Starbucks to play assorted board games and card games. Occasionally, I invite my brothers to join us and come drink coffee while playing fun games. One of my brothers drives, but two of the others who frequently accompany me are not yet of age to have a driver's license. One night, I picked up one of my brothers and we went to games night. Afterwards, having ingested copious quantities of coffee, we decided to head back to my apartment and hang out for a little bit. Needless to say, one game soon led to another and next thing we knew it was 4 am. Finally, I drove him back home as the night began to wind down. But, we both were amazed at how much fun could be had on a Friday night.

A couple weeks later, the same brother happened to have another Friday night free, so I came and picked up two of my brothers. We went to games night and then had another afterparty until the wee hours of the morn. The games night plus afterparty combination was an unqualified winner, which absolutely guaranteed an entire night of nonstop fun. Around 3 am one night, I jokingly remarked, "Friday nights are awesome! Party all night; sleep all day." My brother responded, "No. Party all night and party all day!" This began to become a tradition, and another brother began to join us regularly. Sometimes we would go to other event besides games night, as well. But, no matter what we do on Friday, whenever we hang out, we always have an afterparty until at least 3 or 4 in the morning.

While friends are good, in many ways, brothers are even better. While you only ever know your friends to a certain degree, you typically are extremely knowledgable about your siblings. You know what they enjoy, what they love to do, and when they're typically free. You share countless inside jokes, similar interests and common memories. All of this serves as an effective foundation for having unbelievable fun times at a moment's notice. Last week, after partying all night Friday, the next morning I woke up to a call from one of my brothers. He had a couple awesome new ideas for a business project that we are working on together. After discussing the details of that, I asked him, "What are you guys up to later?" Two of my brothers were free, and so a couple hours later we were happily immersed in more fun activities. As my other brother rightly declared, "It's a never-ending party!"

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

What Token Resistance Reveals

Token resistance is a bit of a strange thing, since initially it seems counterintuitive. Why would a woman resist that which she actually desires? In my pre-game days, such a thing would be likely to confuse and perplex me. Now, I think that token resistance is both a fascinating and fun thing that speaks volumes about the intriguing differences between men and women.

Most of the important truths about women aren't completely obvious. They are subtle things that you have to discover, either through your own experiences or vicariously, through the experience of others. Token resistance is something that reveals three fundamental truths about women.

1. Women Love Intuitiveness
I can't say why women so strongly like intuitiveness, but there is something that strongly attracts a woman to a man that she perceives as intuitive. Strong game always necessitates that a man be skilled at interpretting non-verbal communication such as tone, body language, facial expressions and unexplained actions. While this is never something a woman will vocalize, every woman secretly has a desire for her man to know what she's thinking without having to express it verbally. Token resistance, in this regard, is a test of a man's intuitiveness. If he listens only to her words, then she views him as unintuitive. If she knows that he knows that what she says isn't actually what she means, then she becomes more strongly attracted to him, because she feels that he understands her on some deeper level.

2. Women Enjoy Being Chased
Any sort of romantic male-female relationship, and especially the enjoyable sort, necessarily includes elements of chase. Generally, women like to be chased and men like to chase. Women like to be chased, because they enjoy being desired. They enjoy being attractive enough to be worth pursuing. Men naturally enjoy chasing and pursuing that which they desire. Masculine men are always driven and ambitious. They set their sights on what they desire, and they allow nothing to deter them from their quest. Not only does this element of challenge testify to the fundamental natures of both men and women, but the chase itself is an enjoyable thing. Even when the eventual outcome is known by both parties, the chase is still a thoroughly delightful part of the experience, for both people.

3. Women Love Dominant Men
Of course, this is probably the strongest reason of all. Given that women are hard-wired to desire to submit to a dominant man, a woman likes to know that her man is a leader who does things according to what he thinks is best. If a few words or a little resistance from her is able to deter him from pursuing what he wants, he certainly isn't very dominant. When a man remains undeterred from attaining what he desires, even in the presence of resistance or opposition, his dominance is clearly displayed. Without fail, a clear demonstration of masculine dominance is something that strongly increases the present attraction that a woman feels for her man. For this reason, token resistance is offered both as a test of a man's dominance and as an opportunity for a man to display his dominance.

Monday, May 3, 2010

On Masculine and Feminine Virtues

Not long ago, Ulysses wrote an interesting post that was inspired by some writings of Edmund Burke and Mary Wollencraft. In responding to that post and thinking more about it, I stumbled across the idea that virtues and the expression thereof, are rarely androgynous. There are many virtues that definitely are more masculine and many virtues which are unquestionably more feminine in nature. Some virtues are not especially polarized, but vary substantially in their expressions, from one gender to the other.

It's easy to determine whether a virtue is more masculine or feminine. The masculine virtues always involve elements of clarity, firmness, hardiness, rationality, missionality or a black and white view of the world. The feminine virtues always are more graceful, smooth, nurturing, peacable, social and flexible. Examples of masculine virtues include: ambition, diligence, persistence, endurance, accountability, bravery, confidence, commitment, assertiveness, defiance, punctuality, discipline, focus, determination, fortitude, loyalty, honesty, dependability, justice, honor, majesty, orderliness, restraint, steadfastness, chastity and wisdom. Examples of feminine virtues include: cleanliness, compassion, mercy, thoughfulness, kindness, cooperation, discretion, flexibility, gracefulness, peacefulness, sensitivity, unity, tranquility, tolerance, innocence, hopefulness, consideration, helpfulness, care and prudence.

While all of these virtues are valuable and desirable, it is also desirable that they are held in certain proportions within a person. While a man should be well developed in all of the virtues, it is especially needful that he possess a sufficient amount of masculine virtues. If he is lacking in some areas of the feminine virtues it is not nearly so dangerous and unattractive as if he is deficient in one of the masculine virtues. For example, if a man is more peaceful than he is bold and courageous, such that he lacks assertiveness concerning things that are important and vital, he would rightly be perceived as a wimp and a coward. While it is desirable for a man to both be bold and be peaceful, it is more desirable that he be bold than that he be peaceful. It is more of a vice if he lacks assertiveness than if he isn't as agreeable as he should be. Similarly, while it would be preferable for a man to be both dependable and flexible, if he is to lack either virtue, it is preferable that he be lacking in flexibility, rather than being a man who is unreliable. For a man, he must primarily emphasize the masculine virtues in his own personal and spiritual development. Development of the feminine virtues, while wholesome and worthwhile, must always rest firmly on the foundation of the masculine virtues.

A man's efficacy in the world, his command of respect from other men, and his attractiveness to women are all intimately tied with the proportion of his character traits. This balance is vital and necessary. A man lacking ambition and diligence is a man who is lazy and accomplishes nothing. Men do not respect him in that area, and women will find his lack of those traits quite distasteful. Recently, I was conversing with my pastor and we were discussing the necessity of a man providing for his family. He recounted to me a couple that he knows who have been married for 10 years. Their family is still lacking in stability because the husband is inconsistent and undisciplined in keeping a job. That family is struggling because of the financial instability and poor leadership caused by the husband's deficiency in the masculine virtues of ambition and diligence.

Similarly, for a man to be a protector of his loved ones, he must be strong, tough and unrelenting. So long as a man is willing and able to fight when needed, it is perfectly good if he is merciful and compassionate. However, if a man lacks those vital masculine virtues, his possession of the feminine ones are of little comfort or help. For a man to be rightous, he must have a well-developed sense of justice and mete out punishments that are proportionate to the crime. A man who is forgiving and forbearing at the expense of being just is permissive to a fault. Whereas, a man who metes out reasonable punishments swiftly and efficaciously is even more respected when he offers forgiveness and mercy on appropriate occasions. When the feminine virtues exist aside well-developed masculine virtues in a man, they are quite respectable and admirable. However, a lack of any essential masculine virtues in a man cannot be counterbalanced by any quantity of corresponding feminine virtues.

Just as the masculine virtues are primarily desirable and necessary for a man, a woman must possess a proper proportion of virtues within herself. The exercise of feminine virtues serve to enhance a woman's beauty and ability to have a nourishing, lifegiving effect upon her family and the world around. Just as it is crucial for a man to have well-developed masculine virtues, a wise woman will primarily pursue the development of feminine virtues within herself. Upon the foundation of feminine virtues, developing masculine virtues can be a good thing, but if they are emphasized at the exclusive of the feminine virtues, a woman will end up quite unbalanced, unfeminine and consequently, unattractive. A woman who is just but lacks compassion and tenderness, will be quite an unaffectionate and unsympathetic person. Is it perfectly reasonable for a woman to exercise a proper measure of justice, when needed, so long as compassion, love and empathy are always predominant.

A woman who is graceful and peaceful is a refreshing woman to be around. However, a woman who is abrasive and confrontational is a troublesome and repulsive woman to be with. It is fine for a woman to be able to confront where confrontation is needed, as long as she is generally a gracious and peaceful person. But, in the absense of those virtues, assertiveness and defiance mark her as a shrew. Similarly, as long as a woman is primarily a nurturing and caring person, it is no vice to have a measure of ambition and drive. However, a woman who places her goals and life pursuits above being a nurturing and caregiving wife and mother is not an attractive woman. When a woman demonstrates her possession of feminine virtues, she actually appears more beautiful. A woman who shows kindness is beautiful. A woman who chooses her words carefully in order to preserve unity and tranquility reveals a lovely spirit. When a woman with strongly developed feminine virtues develops a few of the masculine virtues, this serves to make her more balanced and well-rounded. However, if a woman possess a greater degree of masculine virtues than feminine ones, it greatly inhibits her beauty, her polarity and her ability to bless the world the way she is meant to.

Thus, for both men and women, it is right and proper to pursue the development of various virtues in accordance with one's own gender polarity. A man who wishes to be strongly masculine (as men should), must primarily focus his efforts on developing masculine virtues. To the degree that he masters those virtues, he will be attractive, respected and powerful. A man who is strongly masculine may develop some feminine virtues to smooth out some of his rough edges, but this will always be a secondary pursuit. Deficiency in any critical masculine trait is a major weakness. Likewise, a woman who wishes to be delightfully feminine (as women should), must primarily focus her efforts on developing feminine virtues. The woman who successfully embraces those qualities will be beautiful, kind, peaceable and a blessing to her friends and family. A proper understanding of the desirable proportion of virtues for men and for women is necessary to work towards a properly polarized soul. Even in their possession of virtues, men should strive to be men and women should delight in being women.